my pain and never-ending suffering

I never told anyone my true emotions how I'm so different then other humans it is true I am human but I have a terrible horrible past at times I wonder if living the life I had that brought me nothing but pain my whole life was worth it everyday all I think about is killing myself because I have many dark secrets and so much pain I go through but I do know this if your race does exist I would never tell anyone about you because maybe deep down even though everyone hated me except.my kind hearted mother and how I was used so many times would probably be the same thing that has happened to you as well so I will say this...I am not your enemy you do not nee  to be afraid you can put all of your trust into me and tell me all your secrets and the pain you hide because I and maybe only me could understand what you are going through so please contact me if you truly do exist